Though still I watch reruns of the classic episodes at least once every month, I stopped watching new Simpsons episodes regularly a few years ago, and haven’t seen a new one outside of the Halloween specials in two seasons. The way I keep tabs on the show is by following the blog Dead Homer Society, where Charlie Sweatpants publishes insightful compare and contrast pieces detailing how the modern episodes differ from the show’s heyday.
Charlie puts forth the theory that the Simpsons episodes that have been airing for the past decade and a half should actually be classified as a different show called “Zombie Simpsons.” Here’s an excerpt from hisbook where he lays out the description of this new, inferior show:
Things have changed even more beneath the surface. The two have polar opposite senses of humor. The Simpsons trafficked in tightly plotted stories that were cynical, anti-authority social satires that often bordered on nihilism. They managed to get away with it thanks to a clever veneer of sweetness and slapstick. Zombie Simpsons reverses those priorities. It leans heavily on sweetness and slapstick, leaves plot threads all over the place, and only rarely musters even a fraction of the hilariously bleak cynicism that was a big part of what made The Simpsons what it was.
Broadly speaking then, “Zombie Simpsons” is the regular television show that remained when The Simpsons stopped being The Simpsons.
I don’t remember most Zombie Simpsons episodes; I certainly haven’t seen any of them twice. So I went on Wikipedia to read some episode summaries. They are, as you’d expect, terribly written and incoherent. And yet, they may be the ideal format to read recaps of these uninspired shows.
Here are eleven sentences from Zombie Simpsons episode summaries on Wikipedia that perfectly sum up Zombie Simpsons:
2. “Homer is asked to be a pallbearer (to which he agrees thinking the woman who asked him meant a Polar Bear).” -Homer of Seville, Season 19
3. “And finally, after 21 seasons of being sent to his room, or punished in other different ways, Bart gets grounded. and for the first time ever, stays grounded, with also having to Twitter Homer about his current activities (despite Homer not knowing anything about Twitter and not wanting to).” -Postcards from the Wedge, Season 21
4. “Maya stops Moe just before the surgery, as she wants someone who sees her as “beautiful” not “short”, and who does not need to cut himself down to her size in order to love her (even though Mr. Largo the music teacher was mistakenly given Moe’s surgery instead of a sex change operation to look like Julie Newmar), despite the fact that Moe loving her was not the issue.” -Eeny Teeny Maya Moe, Season 20
5. “Back at Sprawl-Mart, Homer and his co-workers are locked in late at night, with a chip implanted in the back of Homer’s neck, but he removes it and joins his co-workers in robbing the store by using a forklift to steal several plasma TVs.” -On A Clear Day I Can’t See My Sister, Season 16
6. “While Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are having an awkward, uneventful visit with Grampa, Mason and Homer are underwater (which is terribly polluted by nuclear waste) in their own individual submarines looking for the lost treasure.” -Homer’s Paternity Coot, Season 17
7. “But when Marge washes Homer’s salamander costume after witnessing him vomit therein — though more generally, acting up on her own concern that his possession of the outfit has not included it being washed — it falls apart during a debate forum (where we learn that the Crazy Cat-Lady's real name is Eleanor Abernathy and is very intellectual despite her deranged rantings for “cats in everyone's pants!”), and the crowd turns on him.” -See Homer Run, Season 17
8. “Marge and Homer proceed to describe one of the darker points of their relationship, the 1990s (which Bart has never heard of, despite the fact that the show was one of the most popular on TV during the 90s).” -That 90’s Show, Season 19
9. “Eventually, Homer, Marge and Darcy’s parents catch up with them to stop the wedding, where Darcy’s father intends to attack Bart as he believes that Bart took advantage of a girl five years older than him and got her pregnant.” -Little Big Girl, Season 18
10. “Just as he is about to have a taste of the meth (which he thinks is food produced with the help of molecular gastronomy), the police burst in and a gunfight ensues between them and the drug addicts.” -The Food Wife, Season 23
11. “The family goes back home with the dog and the ostrich Bart strangled tied to the car, but unfortunately, the ostrich regains consciousness and punches through the roof with its claw, proceeding to strangle Homer.” -How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?, Season 22
On /r/nba somebody asked what the top 5 albums of 2013 are
This is my list
Danny Brown - Old
Vampire Weekend - Modern Vampires of the City
Chvrches - The Bones of What You Believe
Chance the Rapper - Acid Rap (technically a “mixtape” but whatever)
Drake - Nothing Was the Same
(possibly Twelve Reasons To Die sneaks in? Also I think I’m suffering from recency effect here. I think I would have put Frightened Rabbit or something in there if I made this list five months ago. I dunno. THIS IS STUPID.)
Hey Ryan, I'm curious what's your day job? What do you do for a living? Also, your pretty snazzy, or, as the kids say, the cat's pajamas.
Well, last Friday I quit my job at the Late Show with David Letterman where I booked stand-up comedians, human interest guests and produced the Stupid Human and Stupid Pet Tricks segments. I worked there for 8 years and have never seen a cat wear pajamas, so I reject the idiom but accept the compliment.
And I don’t want to jinx it, but on December 2 I’m signing a contract to join the Jimmy Fallon show. When they transition over this February, I’ll be the stand-up booker for the Tonight Show.